Why I am Quitting Smoking…

Don’t congratulate me yet. I haven’t quit yet. In fact, I am smoking a cigarette as I post this.
I claim to be from Boston but the place that I own is located at the very anus of New Hampshire. That said, NH just significantly raised the tax on cigarettes. In the middle of the worst and most unpredictable recession this country has ever seen.

(I should start another post about the shameless; cash strapped municipalities exploiting the fuck out of this. We understand the theory behind traffic camera$ you greedy pricks. We are far more intelligent than the winners in your think tank, guaranteed)

I’ve always enjoyed the benefit of being pretty much a MA resident but paying NH prices for smokes.
Which until recently was a staggering difference.

I awoke this morning after doing nothing but watching movies, playing video games and smoking cigarettes to this:

That is not some fancy camera trick or PhotoShop filter. I swear I did not touch the burn tool. lol

That was risidual tar on my finger from what I was breathing all night. Who want’s to kiss me? lol
I do not extinguish smokes on the plates I eat on either, I just rounded up some smoking pariphenila for a photo-op to extentuaite the disgust I felt when I saw this.

Sadly, this decision rests solely on monetary issues. The more I think about it however, the more it completely makes sense. I’m paying close to $300 a month to breathe carcenegenic life ending chemicals, picked and dried by the very people who benefit from my charity. Americans won’t pick tobacco, because Americans will not put in a hard days work for five dollars an hour.

I am not saying that Americans are better than anybody else, but the education system we have is put in place (that costs us all a fortune) is to employ a fleet of teachers to ensure we are not a nation of dumb-asses is rivaled only by China.  (Don’t kid yourselves, those people study 12 hours a day and hang themselves in their closets if they get a “B” as not to Sully the family name)

Sadly I’ve been a dumb-ass. I’ve been a dumb-ass since I was 12 years old. I’ve supported a dumb-ass habit for more than half of my life that is going to kill me if I don’t stop. I actually got my first job delivering newspapers when I was 12, so I had some scratch to dump into the vending machine in the local grocery store warehouse break room. I shit you not.

So clearly my innards are pretty fucked up if that was one night on my fingers behalf.

Fun Fact:
I asked my doctor about getting a script for the medication I am about to take to quit smoking and when I went to fill it, they quoted a price tag of $250!!!??? Because my new insurance doesn’t cover any smoking cessation programs.

I had my friend pull an insurance scam, so I could live and take this product for a $50 copay. When I decide to start taking it. lol

Thanks again bro (Matt H) and like I said, if I actually quit, I am cutting you and your wife a check annually.

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Google Chrome and it’s tabs

I’ve done this a few times on Google Chrome and it’s been driving me nuts, so I hunted around the web and found a solution to Accidentally closing a tab

Found this on technipages

I accidentally close the wrong tab before I get to bookmark the site all the time. Thankfully, Google Chrome for Windows has the ability to reopen tabs you may have closed accidentally.

Simply press Ctrl + Shift + T, and it will open up the tab you closed last.

You can do this with up to 10 times, and it will repoen the tabs you have closed in order.

Hope it’s useful

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The Many Faces of Sarah Connor

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The character of Sarah Connor has been a constantly evolving animal. She went from the quiet mousy type, right to Rambo on the rag. The Sarah Connor Chronicles is about to start back up for a second season and although I found the show to be a tad cheesy, I could not get enough of it. The Terminator franchise has always been one of my favorites. I am really looking to Terminator Salvation next year.

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1984 - Terminator - Linda Hamilton
Cute and timid. Known to crush your ass in a hydraulic press if cornered.

1992 - Terminator 2 - Linda Hamilton
A terrifying bull-dike. I am pretty sure she would kick my ass.

2003 - Terminator 3 - GTFO
Linda Hamilton turned down the role. They gave her leukemia and solved that problem.

2008 - Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - Lena Headey
A strange combination of hot chick, navy seal and soccer mom. Undoubtedly the hottest.

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Rest In Peace, Bitch.

***************************************
This is an actual obituary, published in the Times-Herald. I didn’t know Dolores Aguilar but from what I hear, she was kind of an asshole.

This is probably the greatest obituary

I have ever read.

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Dolores Aguilar
1929 - Aug. 7, 2008

Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She
will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and
daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia
and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria,
Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew,
Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren,
Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian,
Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci,
Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a
kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I
say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and
there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her
in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the
years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of
those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will
really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and
great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the
rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing
and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent
a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it
that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I
say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

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My New Favourite Song

 
Now, I’m not a huge music buff, but I know talent when I see it

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what I did a week ago

A few weeks ago I was at a rock concert, but not any rock concert. This was Whitesnake & Def Leppard!!

My wife is a def leppard fan, something who everyone who knows her finds quite odd because she likes baking and has a ribbon drawer. She loves them and practically deafens me with “pour some sugar on me” in the car. So she saw the show advertised about 2 months ago and thought, “what the hell”. Now the show was in the SECC (in glasgow) and although originally from Glasgow we now live in Edinburgh. This would mean about a 80 min drive home after the show and of course, no drinking. So we booked into the hotel right across the street from the show, which was a good idea cause we actually drank quite a lot of booze. Both pretty drunk.

In fact we were at the bar when Whitesnake came on. We had heard the support act, don’t even remember their name…something cherry, but weren’t bothered about missing them. So we were quite suprised when we got in and whitesnake were on stage.

Quite funny, the lead singer for whitesnake (how much of a fan am I, I don’t even know his name) thanked us all for being there and that is was whitesnakes 30th anniversary. Then he introduces the rest of the band and not one of them are over 30, found that quite funny. Weird thing was the keyboardist had the weirdest hairdo I ever seen…he looked like Bobby Ewing from Dallas.

Lead singer for whitesnake, David something I think, is actually a funny guy. Joking and talking with the auidence, he looks like shit to be honest (too much wrinkles and tan) but a good guy. And he does have an awesome rock voice, so full marks on being the front guy for his band. They played some tunes, none of which I knew, and they were quite good. The lead guitarist, who again I don’t know his name, fucking rocks. The sound he got from that thing was amazing, the 2nd guitarist was good as well but the lead one was the main event. Highlight of the band without a doubt. New drummer was good as well.

Place went bezerk of course when they played their signature tunes “is this love” and “here I go again”, especially for here I go again. Top class act, go see them before the lead singer dies…which might be soon judging by his face.

Then there was Def Leppard…and I was disappointed. My wife thought they were fantastic, I thought they were average.

You know when you can’t be bothered going to work but you go anyway, put in a shift (do the hours) and then go home. That’s how I’d describe their performance…putting in a shift. Kinda disappointed because I was looking forward to it. They sounded exactly like their albums, song start song end, nothing extra, very little interaction with the auidence. Shame cause Whitesnake were great.

So overall review, if there are a 80’s rock band playing nearby, go see em. We both thoroughly enjoyed the night, Whitesnake rocked, Def Leppard were ok, I was disappointed and my wife wasn’t, she thought they were amazing. But overall overall, the night was worth it.

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This is How You Remind Me of Someday

My girlfriend is a huge Nickelback fan. I think this is typical among people with vaginas. I don’t hate them, just always felt their music fit a template outside of my musical tastes. (obnoxious and screamy)

I’ve even taken her to see them for a completely irrationally inflated price. Admittedly, I had a great time.

I’ll always jump at the opportunity to shit on anything not metal.

The link below is an unedited .mp3 of Nickelback’s “Someday” in the left channel and “How You Remind Me” in the right channel.

It’s the same god-damn song! That is some serious cookie cutter rock.

CLICK: Nickelback back-to-back

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Stressed much Bill?

Time to switch to decaf Bill.

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Over-the-Top Body Modifications

I’ve always been a fan of self expression. I think tattoo’s and piercings are great. I currently have three tattoos and at one time even had my nipples pierced.

That said, some people can take “self expression” to a level I can’t even comprehend. What drives some people to do shit like this to themselves?

Never have I been drunk enough to tattoo my face or decide I want to be a lizard. More importantly, can these people even get laid?

1. The Enigma

2. The Reptile Man - Erik Sprague

3. The Cat Man - Dennis Abner

4. This Guy

5. Mr. Cool Ice.
Although not as extreme as his competition, Mr. Cool Ice makes the list for being an idiot. I mean, seriously.

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Indiana Jones Review

On Sunday I went and seen the latest Indiana Jones movie and I thought I would quickly let you guys know what I thought about it.

I’m a huge fan of the franchise so I was kinda looking forward to and dreading what this movie would be like. Don’t forget that George Lucas does play a big part in this franchise and look at the mess he made of his other franchise with his 3 prequels. So I was dreading and excited by the movie.

So, what did I think…

It sucks.
It is honestly one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Not THE worst, but one of them.

About a third of the way through this movie I was enjoying it. It wasn’t great but it was enjoyable. There had been a good couple of action scenes, the nuclear explosion, the motorbike chase into the library…all good.

Then they got to the jungle and again it wasn’t terrible…then came the swordfight in the jeeps. That was it for me, it just became ridiclous after that. Swinging through the trees like Tarzan, the ending…oh my god, the ending.

I felt violated when I came out. Not in a good way either. Its just a totally dumb story and people will say (oh ignore the plot, it’s an action movie) but thats all there was. There was no sub-plots (actually not one I can think of), not enough comedy to focus on that (which is fine) so all you had was the plot and unfortunately it was absolute nonsense.

Couple of other things as well (if you’ve seen it, do you agree?)

What was with the scene with the FBI questioning Indy about him being a traitor? This happened in the first 10 mins but then it just vanished. Never to be mentioned again…ever. And if it’s in the first 10 mins and then removed from the movie entirely then you have to think “well, what was the point”? And the general coming in and sticking up for him, I guess this scene was just to inform us of indys war medals but then I think this could have been accomplished by Indy in his house and a shot of his medals rather than this sub-plot that lasted all of 3 minutes.

Why was Ray Winstone in the movie at all? Seriously remove his character from the movie, would you notice.

Despite the inital promises of little CGI, let me tell you that there is lots. No a little, but lots of CGI.

I loved how the KGB spies had heavy russian accents. It’s 1957 and these guys are undercover KGB spies in the states and they sound like Arnie with a cold. Gee, how did the CIA miss you guys?

I thought Cate Blanchett was wasted, her character was inept rather than the scary russian baddie she was supposed to be. Also she was billed as being psyhic, what happened with that? Did she do anything paranormal with these supposed powers, not one thing.

Did anyone else notice the similarity between the jeep scene and the chase through the mines in the temple of doom? I thought they were pretty much 90-100% exact. Even the ending with all the water.

Thanks George, another childhood franchise wrecked. Although I know it’s not all his fault, I can’t see how Spielberg wouldn’t have noticed this sucked. I hate to think someone with his kinda cash put this movie together to cash in cause that is how it feels.

I know some of my points above are nit picking (especially the accent point) but I felt like the movie makers thought I was dumb. That was the over riding message I got from the movie, “I’m dumb and I’ll enjoy anything”. I hate that. I like action movies but the best action movies are the ones with good plots. People say plots don’t count in action movies but I beg to differ, the best action movies are the ones with great action scenes, big stunts AND a good plot. For example the 1st Die Hard and all of the Bourne movies. A great action movie needs a decent plot and this just wasn’t it.

People at my cinema were laughing at the end, and not in a good way. I heard the word “shit” from my fellow cinema members several times.

Good points…Harrison Ford is great, the role he was born to play and he does play it well every time. I didn’t see Transformers so this is the first time I’ve really seen Shia Lebouef and I thought he was pretty good as well.

But I would save your money and go see Batman instead (hopefully that will live up to the hype), this might be worth seeing on DVD if you’re a fan but I now I won’t be watching it again. Shame really.

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