Rest In Peace, Bitch.
August 20th, 2008 Fester
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This is an actual obituary, published in the Times-Herald. I didn’t know Dolores Aguilar but from what I hear, she was kind of an asshole.
This is probably the greatest obituary
I have ever read.
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Dolores Aguilar
1929 - Aug. 7, 2008
Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She
will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and
daughter, Ruby.
She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia
and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria,
Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew,
Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren,
Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian,
Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci,
Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.
Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a
kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I
say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and
there will be no lamenting over her passing.
Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her
in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the
years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of
those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will
really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and
great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the
rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing
and learning to be a family again.
There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent
a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it
that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I
say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.